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40th Birthday Party
posted by Bruce Freeman on Jul 19, 2009 | Comments (37) | Permalink | Trackback URL
40th Birthday party
In 1991, I was fired from a major NY publishing company. The boss called me in and said, “don’t let the door hit you in the butt on the way out”.
I had a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a mortgage. I determined that I was not going to be in a position when my daughter is ready for college that one person could pull the financial plug on me.….so I decided I was going to try it on my own.
I sent out 2500 cards announcing that I was starting my own professional consultancy, specializing in computer training, public relations, marketing …plumbing, electrical work and picket fence painting. At that time, I could have called the business “anything for a buck incorporated.“For eighteen years, I have been successfully running ProLine Communications, a successful marketing and public relations agency.
At the time, my wife was planning a surprise 40th Birthday party.
We get to the restaurant; balloons are flying, the DJ is going. I’m thinking to my self, how am I am going to pay for this?
At the end of the party (having little or no tact) I asked my wife, “How much did the party cost?” She told me that Miss Manners would not approve of my question. After all, you don’t ask how much a gift or party costs . I said to my wife, what’s the difference…I’m going to get the credit card bill at the end of the month…My wife then says, “Well, the party cost about the same as one of our monthly mortgage payments.”
“So?”, I replied.
So she said, “What’s the difference if the sheriff evicts us now or 30 days from now. When he carts our furniture to the curb, I’ll have one hell of a party to tell him about”.
Moral of the story: My wife taught me an important lesson. You are not the definition of your last job— you are husband, father, friend. Keep your perspective and maintain your balance.
FILED IN: Emotional Intelligence, Entrepreneurship, Public Relations
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Excellent advice Bruce! Thanks!
For eighteen years,I have been successfully running Pro Line Communications, a successful marketing and public relations agency..dining chair
Being self-employed and far from the security of office jobs take some brevery, But if you are successful with you own business, everything seems worth it.
I’m unemployed for 3 years now. I do everything for dollars, legally of course.
Happy birthday!!!
At the end of the party (having little or no tact) I asked my wife, How much did the party cost? She told me that Miss Manners would not approve of my question. After all, you dont ask how much a gift or party costs . I said to my wife, whats the difference…Im going to get the credit card bill at the end of the monthMy wife then says, Well, the party cost about the same as one of our monthly mortgage payments.
So?, I replied.
So she said, “What’s the difference if the sheriff evicts us now or 30 days from now. When he carts our furniture to the curb, I’ll have one hell of a party to tell him about”.
You make me laugh and some tears too. Why tears? because even at the brink of supposed to be enjoying a party, the thought of the cost still hounds you. You are really after the welfare of your family but sometimes life is too short to spend worrying. Just enjoy and see life in its right perspective free from any worries of WHAT IFs.
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I asked my wife, How much did the party cost? She told me that Miss Manners would not approve of my question.
Do not let a job define who you are and what you’re worth. Although, you got laid off at that job, to your wife and kids, you were still their everything.
As a father, husband, and a provider, you know that even if you’re jobless you will still find a way to pay off those measly credit card bills… some way, somehow. If there’s a will, there’s a way.
Good Story! For me work isn’t fun sometimes anymore. I’m a college student who is paying his own way through school. It isn’t easy sometimes to have extra money to have fun. But someway some how you always come up with the money. i think sometimes you have to forget about your bills and have alittle fun. Money isnt everything
Great story Prof.Bruce!! Today our lives are accelerated by things such as multitasking, cell phones, and instant messaging, the speed of our lives seems to be on fast forward, but we all have the power to make a change, and that our daily decisions are the key to how we live our lives. People searching to create a balanced life should also take a look at what they own or what they keep. I sometimes see that in my family, everyone is just working and working, and I always remind them to stop and thing for a second. Of course making money is great and bills have to get paid somehow, but sometimes you need to forget about it for a minute and focus on other important things in your life, like family, friends and enjoy life.
Great Story Professor Bruce… This is one of my favorites. The moral of this story is great and its a great life lesson that everyone has to go with. You are not the definition of your last job, you are a husband, father, friend… you cant let one thing change the way you want to do stuff. The party sounded like a lot of fun and went well no matter what the cost was.
At the end of the day we are all human. We have emotions; we have feelings, worries, thoughts, problems, questions, doubts, and a thousand other things running through our heads. Even though we may think that work, and dedication, and all those other things named in the previous blogs are the key to success in business and in life, the real key to success is happiness. Like professor Bruce mentioned, you are not the definition of your last job or your current one at that. At the end of the day you are human and if you can do something that brings a smile to your face regardless of the cost you should do it. You only live once, you only turn 40 once, you work every day and you could have a different job ten times. So dont worry, stress, doubt, or those any of those things we are so used to doing. When all else fails and all your plans havent worked bring yourself back to the simplest forms and simply enjoy what you STILL HAVE! When you realized your still breathing, still sleeping, and still dreaming; smile. Because the only time you will lose absolutely everything is when you die, so if your not dead, your fine!
The wife in this story was right. You cant live off of past failures or successes. If you do, you will drown yourself in what used to be. Always live in the moment as much as you can.
This was a great story I feel that often people define their life by their job but in actuality there is so much more in life. I believe you take one day at a time because if you worry too much about the future you cant enjoy the current moment. Life is short so you have to take the good with the bad and just move forward.
Great story Professor Bruce! You can not go around defining yourself by your job. You have to be your own person and that is exactly why being an entrepreneur is so great. your wife seems to have taught you a very valuable lesson after that party and that is the way you should live life and enjoy it
Prof Bruce did what any man would do, he did not roll over and die. He did whatever it took to make money to support his family. People always think that they are defined by their jobs. You have to be your own person and make your own path in life. Prof Bruce’s wife also had a great lesson for Prof Bruce. A life without balance is no life at all.
I like this because after 15 years of work I was laid off from work. I was feeling at my all time low I wasnt laid off because of my performance I was laid off because I am low man in my union. My wife gave me the encouragement I needed to get though. She reminded me of how successful I was in college and told me not to worry. Now you can spend that extra time you want wit your 2 year old daughter. Every since I heard I am not define by my last job. I have changed my attitude to use my job as a learning tool to be the best and to build as many relationships as I can. If this ever happen again I know that instead of feeling low use some positive energy and get back in the game. It doesnt hurt to have a Plan b so while everyone else is walking around with a sour face I can smile unless my wife decides to have a party I dont know about
i’m proud of you professor Bruce, the stories you tell us is not for fun or wasting time, it is a good lessons you teach us. i remember all your great stories especially this one, it is one of my favorites. i agree that life will not end if we got fired from our job. personaly i learned from you not to depend on one job. i will open my own business beside my job.
Prof Bruce, your story can defiantly inspire all of us. In these times of uncertainty we all need to learn how to be resourceful and make the best of what we have. You took a bad situation at the time, and turned i into long and successful career.
Dont let your job/past job limit who you are. Just becuase that job might not think your worth anything, you are always going be worth something to your family/friends.
In life it is always good to have balance because things can get in the way. Having free time is essential in life especially with your family, friends, and co-workers. Money just comes and goes because it is spent on a lot of things.
Professor Bruce has some great advice yet again. Even if you get fired or laid off from your job you cant sit at home crying about it. You have to pick yourself up and thats exactly what Professor Bruce did. You do what you have to and you must learn to appreciate the important things in life like family.
You are definitely right, many times we get caught up with our jobs and forget what our real roles are in this world. Its important to have a plan B but many times you dont expect the worst to happen to you. We have set backs, financially, personally and even internally. Sometimes what you once believed was the best job ever can turn into a nightmare. Your birthday party was a success because you have a loving wife and family that will be there for you whether you have a job or not! You got yourself up on two feet and continued to succeed in life. When life gives you lemons make lemonade! You have many things to be thankful for and many roles that your doing a good job in so dont let this be the end of your life make it the beginning of a new life!
This is a funny story. I like “anything for a buck inc.” Sometimes we forget who we are and it’s nice to be reminded from time to time. It was a risky move to have an expensive party during a time when you probably should have been saving money, but it sounds like things worked out in the end.
Prof. Bruce your are very lucky man to have a wife like that. It’s a great story, with an even better moral. I wish you and you family all the best for the future.
Professor Bruce, great story, this is a great lesson that everyone should learn. You are not your job that doesnt not make the person that you are. When you lose your job to world doesnt stop you just got to keep on going and do what you can to make ends meet.
Just because you may face obstacles in life, doesn’t mean its the end of the road. Prof Bruce obviously benefited from being let go of his previous job. He never lost site of what he had or what he could accomplish. Its important to stay focused and do not let these problems control your ambition.
That was pretty brave and pretty bold…. Congrats on your company and i wish you success. Many people dream of doing what you did, being your own boss. You are truly an inspiration.
For a lot of people it is hard to understand the concept of their job not defining who they are a person. Their first response is to say I am an accountant or contractor or what ever field they work in. They dont ever think to say well Im a husband/wife or mother/father, its how our society has been conditioned to think. This story puts everything into perspective to live in the moment and love who is in your life because everything may change tomorrow.
I agree with you professor Bruce. If you get fired from a job, don’t sit around and go through filling out application after application. You should do what you can to try to earn that extra buck, such as painting or whatever, and maybe even go into business and be your own boss, until that time comes when you are hired again.
If i am on brink of going to the poor house i do the same thing. I am going to party it up then try find some stable way of making income. Work should be something that give you joy more then 80% of the time. Professor Bruce should be the model of up and coming business and how they can be successful.
Another inspiring story. I loved the ending an the “tactful question”. You truly are not the definition of your last job. I came to realize this about a year ago and I now have the job that I have always wanted but now my loyalty is to myself and not my job
One should never dwell in the past. Whats in the past is in past. if you keep dwelling on it, you will be depressed and will never be able to overcome your downfall, thus holding you back from possible progessing
Nice Story Professor Bruce, I agree with you. It’s important to realize that your last job doesn’t define who you are. One person is many things to many different people and all of those positions are just as if not more important than the position someone had at their last job. I also agree about the party. Sometimes just having a good time is more valuable than you may think.
Professor Bruce, one should never live in the past. One should enjoy what is here and now and make the most of it and look to the future with high hopes and positive attitude.
Its very important to keep your positive attitude going. Life has many unexpected surprises and we need to take it as it is, try to improve it, and make the best of it. We cant be focusing on the negatives.
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